Going in for some tests. Never know.
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Who needs love or hate?
The short answer is everyone. Yeah, sounds cheesy, but it's one of those things you only think about when your time is ticking. So let's just talk about what I've learned with it.
Put lightly, even the people who we hate need it. I spent so much time hating my middle school english teacher until I found out that the reason he was so damn harsh on my stories was because he thought I had potential to be the next Roald Dahl. Since then, he became my mentor until the day I went on to high school.
I've dated a lot of girls (yet never managed to get any further than 2nd base. Wait, what's the definition on second base again? When I was 8 it was kissing a girl on the lips and I think now it's like making out with no clothes as people sharing your prom hotel room watch). Some relationships fizzled, and some flared before they had to end. And a few ended up making a lot of hate and anger between people who used to be close.
At this stage of my life (which could be the late for me), I came to realize that a lot of our hatred towards those we love is created by fear. No matter the cause you think, it's fear.
Fear of commitment.
Fear of being used.
Fear of being wrong.
Fear of not being worth it.
This isn't just about those who you were romantic with. Let's be honest. Some guys fight it out with their parents because of some of those fears.
I actually spent a night calling all the people I've known. The teacher from middle school passed on (he was a British World War II vet). Some of my ex's got married after high school. Some are pursuing their degrees and masters. My former best friend who snuck into the high school afterdark and I had to go bail him out (thus emptying my savings I had been building up for a car) is working at a construction company.
And honestly, I just talked about the good times, the bad, and the honest fact that I don't regret knowing them. In all honesty, the good times and bad times just meant I had a full life.
Granted, if someone genuinely hurts you, like beats the hell out of you, or stabs you in the back and leaves you alone and hurting, you're justified to hate them.
But honestly, at the end of your life, the hate won't matter, and all you'll focus on is the love. Even the ones that didn't go both ways.
Lesson of the day: Forget the hate. If they haven't truly done anything to hurt you, then it's just wasting energy that could be used to put more love and positiveness into the universe.
If you have any suggestions for the next rant, let me know. I may actually have a view on it.
Put lightly, even the people who we hate need it. I spent so much time hating my middle school english teacher until I found out that the reason he was so damn harsh on my stories was because he thought I had potential to be the next Roald Dahl. Since then, he became my mentor until the day I went on to high school.
I've dated a lot of girls (yet never managed to get any further than 2nd base. Wait, what's the definition on second base again? When I was 8 it was kissing a girl on the lips and I think now it's like making out with no clothes as people sharing your prom hotel room watch). Some relationships fizzled, and some flared before they had to end. And a few ended up making a lot of hate and anger between people who used to be close.
At this stage of my life (which could be the late for me), I came to realize that a lot of our hatred towards those we love is created by fear. No matter the cause you think, it's fear.
Fear of commitment.
Fear of being used.
Fear of being wrong.
Fear of not being worth it.
This isn't just about those who you were romantic with. Let's be honest. Some guys fight it out with their parents because of some of those fears.
I actually spent a night calling all the people I've known. The teacher from middle school passed on (he was a British World War II vet). Some of my ex's got married after high school. Some are pursuing their degrees and masters. My former best friend who snuck into the high school afterdark and I had to go bail him out (thus emptying my savings I had been building up for a car) is working at a construction company.
And honestly, I just talked about the good times, the bad, and the honest fact that I don't regret knowing them. In all honesty, the good times and bad times just meant I had a full life.
Granted, if someone genuinely hurts you, like beats the hell out of you, or stabs you in the back and leaves you alone and hurting, you're justified to hate them.
But honestly, at the end of your life, the hate won't matter, and all you'll focus on is the love. Even the ones that didn't go both ways.
Lesson of the day: Forget the hate. If they haven't truly done anything to hurt you, then it's just wasting energy that could be used to put more love and positiveness into the universe.
If you have any suggestions for the next rant, let me know. I may actually have a view on it.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
The greatness of will
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that there can be no greater force in the world than our own willpower.
Often, in my more morbid thoughts I pray for a stronger will. I wish for strength of spirit. As I am now, I find myself often concerned that, well, I'm weak in that department.
Many times, I've shot for the moon. I've aspired and tried, and even when I do enjoy the successes of my attempts, the times when I fail horribly stand out in my mind.
I envy those who don't give up on what they want. I envy that they have the drive to keep trying. And I hate how some of us look at these people who refuse to quit as "stupid" or "obsessed", like knowing what they want and not letting go of it is a disease. At least they're strong in that regard.
Lesson of the moment: Respect those of strong will, even if you don't always agree with them, or they don't always succeed. Aim for the moon, and at least if you miss you'll hit a star.
Often, in my more morbid thoughts I pray for a stronger will. I wish for strength of spirit. As I am now, I find myself often concerned that, well, I'm weak in that department.
Many times, I've shot for the moon. I've aspired and tried, and even when I do enjoy the successes of my attempts, the times when I fail horribly stand out in my mind.
I envy those who don't give up on what they want. I envy that they have the drive to keep trying. And I hate how some of us look at these people who refuse to quit as "stupid" or "obsessed", like knowing what they want and not letting go of it is a disease. At least they're strong in that regard.
Lesson of the moment: Respect those of strong will, even if you don't always agree with them, or they don't always succeed. Aim for the moon, and at least if you miss you'll hit a star.
Well, here we go
Hi, I'm The Good Guy, and I'm an alcholic. ^_^;;
Nah, nah, I kid. I can't stand the stuff.
Put lightly, when I was born, I had a weak heart. And it remains weak. And finally.... well, around Christmas I was told I wasn't going to last another year.
Being an idiotic example of male stubborness, I've set out to prove them wrong. Of course, trying to survive and shooting for the dream are difficult.
So, I've decided to do the unbelievable, and start my own blog. If I am going to die, I'm going to relate the things I've learned in my short life prior.
Nah, nah, I kid. I can't stand the stuff.
Put lightly, when I was born, I had a weak heart. And it remains weak. And finally.... well, around Christmas I was told I wasn't going to last another year.
Being an idiotic example of male stubborness, I've set out to prove them wrong. Of course, trying to survive and shooting for the dream are difficult.
So, I've decided to do the unbelievable, and start my own blog. If I am going to die, I'm going to relate the things I've learned in my short life prior.
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